index yesterday tomorrow Most Recent Entries A pound a day - 2006-04-08 Back in black - well in fat anyway - 2006-04-05 Too stupid for my own good - 2004-10-27 The debate - 2004-10-27 To lie or not to lie, that is the question - 2004-10-26 leave me a note

Confronting my father was a mountain that I had to climb and now it is behind me. Profit from Loss. I have conquered other mountains and I have more ahead of me still... Not to mention the foothills at the bottom of each mountain, I've been around long enough to realize that making it over the mountain, doesn't mean there is still not work to do regarding the issue... My therapy is going really well. And it was funny, I just had to test my therapist first (silly silly Heather, has to test everyone to make sure they wont throw her away... maybe someday I will climb that mountain as well... sigh...) and then decide that I wanted to move forward. About a year ago I can remember my most urgent pondering was, if I wanted to even try to gain some mental health. My dysfunctions, all of them, were like body parts to me. Such tasks as what I did last night should NEVER be forced. Because in reality, they can't be. It can't happen until I am ready. As long as I have the desire to accomplish it some day, and I keep remembering that I want to accomplish it, I will get to it when its time. The thing I have found along my life's path is that these hurdles, this baggage I carry, can't be solved in any sort of planned manner. Only the soul knows what order you need to climb your mountains.... The best thing about having a shitty life is when you find a way to make part of it better, you can share it with someone else.