index yesterday tomorrow Most Recent Entries A pound a day - 2006-04-08 Back in black - well in fat anyway - 2006-04-05 Too stupid for my own good - 2004-10-27 The debate - 2004-10-27 To lie or not to lie, that is the question - 2004-10-26 leave me a note

damn. I'm fat and gross and its all my fault and I have no room to complain and I'm so stupid to have this fucking journal. Up and down, up and down I go. WTF is that!? Last year and the year before I was the same weight I am now roughly but I dropped 40-50lbs in between. I need to make a vow to stop this shit. The up and down stuff. I think that will kill me faster then just going back down and staying there. I feel like a failure and a fake. I swear I really do know how to loose weight... I just seem to know how to gain it just as well. Sigh... I need to go to bed. I hope the scale goes down tomorrow. I really need to see it. Just a pound. Just one. Please?