index yesterday tomorrow Most Recent Entries A pound a day - 2006-04-08 Back in black - well in fat anyway - 2006-04-05 Too stupid for my own good - 2004-10-27 The debate - 2004-10-27 To lie or not to lie, that is the question - 2004-10-26 leave me a note

I screwed up last night. It was like a monster overtook me. I was like a drug addict, gripping the steering wheel, fighting back the urge to speed. I was going to buy binge food. Sitting in my car at the back of an empty parking lot, in the dark, with the headlights off, I ate an entire 8oz box of Chocolates. Everytime distant headlights flashed in the window I would jump like a junkie getting her fix..... Sigh... I have to pay for this. I have to get control back. I gained half of a pound. I will go on a crystal light fast today until dinner. Then I will allow 300 calories of food. I will run/speed walk for 2 hours today instead of 1. In the morning, if I have not lost the half pound I will do it again. Have to have control. MUST get control back. Update: Its 6pm and I have eaten 300 calories of chicken breast meat and drank 2 packages of crystal light. I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes at 4 mph. I didn't make my activity goal... Feel bad about that but at least I made my calorie goal. please, PLEASE, PLEASE let me be 134lbs tomorrow.... God I hate the 130s! I can't wait to be in the 120s!