index yesterday tomorrow Most Recent Entries A pound a day - 2006-04-08 Back in black - well in fat anyway - 2006-04-05 Too stupid for my own good - 2004-10-27 The debate - 2004-10-27 To lie or not to lie, that is the question - 2004-10-26 leave me a note

Because I can't change my ugly face - because I have ugly purply-white skin with nasty freckles, BIG dumbo ears, flat boring brown hair, purple bags under my eyes, a BIG hook nose and a FAT/ROUND/SQUARE face.... Because I am a shitty wife - because I have only been able to TOLERATE being intimate with my husband 2 times in the past 6 months, because I cant get a job to help support us, because the house is messy all the time.... Because I totally SUCK at being a mother - if I wasn't such a coward I would give my kids up for adoption so they could be with people that could really give them what they need.... Because I am a TERRIBLE daughter/sister - because I left home when I was 15 and forced my family into counseling, they have never been the same since, because I even made up lies to make sure they never sent me back there, because I am still sick despite my parents going into debt to save my worthless ass, because my mother said if she had it to do over agian, she would let me die.... Because I am a worthless fucking loser - I have a shitty overemotional, compulsive personality, because I don't live up to my potential, because I don't finish things that I start, because I make bad impressions, because I don't really have a pesonality, I am just blah Because I am a waste of life and being crazy and starving IS something I can do. All I can do.