index yesterday tomorrow Most Recent Entries A pound a day - 2006-04-08 Back in black - well in fat anyway - 2006-04-05 Too stupid for my own good - 2004-10-27 The debate - 2004-10-27 To lie or not to lie, that is the question - 2004-10-26 leave me a note

Still haven't gotten on the scale and still haven't eaten. I just feel like if I get on the scale and it says the same or more then on the 13th I will go nuts. I honestly don't know when I will get on the scale. Maybe never. LOL! Eventually my curiousity will get the better of me though and I'll get on it. I just hope I can feel sort of ok with what I see you know? Saw my shrink. I didn't go in sweats. Image is everything in therapy. Well a lot of it anyway. I dressed up in slacks because they are the only pants that fit me right now and they are actually fairly slimming thankfully. I did my hair and got all niced up. I talked a good talk too. It wasn't hard because for the most part my life is going great. It really feels great besides some relationship issues etc. But thats normal stuff and I'm not depressed. The only part that I wasn't completely honest about was the eating part. She asked how it was going, I told her I wasn't getting on the scale right now because I am trying to not focus on calories etc but that I would like to loose a few pounds so my pants fit. Sort of the truth, except I left out that I'm not eating... I feel as smooth as a Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut too because I just smoothed right on into it, talking about, "the eating disorder is still there but I'm managing ok blah blah..." Anyway, thats all for today. I feel great, no dizziness, or brain fog so maybe my body has switched over to starvation mode and is eating my fat. Yay! I think I have some Keto sticks somewhere to check... Not feeling hungry anymore either. I feel like I could fast forever right now.... I know that eventually I will run out of energy and I will have to switch from a complete fast to a protien shake fast but until then... It's nothing but coffee and H2O for me.